Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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