The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize