I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
