ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
