Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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