You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
