I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
What a dumb baby whore.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
