he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
