4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I will pee on everything he values.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
