if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
