this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
