Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
