mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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