i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
