There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
