just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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