my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
did i just pee glitter
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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