she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
