Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
