I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
