I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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