listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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