He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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