Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
