how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
