I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
