god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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