On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
