you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
