I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
