At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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