YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
