The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize