me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
