There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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