Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
