I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Randomize
