i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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