Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
