i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
