this beer tastes like vomit already
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
