Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I have aggressive nipples.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
