hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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