we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize