Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
