I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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