yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
