Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
