Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
