I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
