It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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