YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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