Duck Duck Cougar?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
