It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
