I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You're like the curious george of whores
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
