i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
