Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
