I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize