you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
