You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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