I puked a lego.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
