Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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