He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
