Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize