I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
