he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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