is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
