Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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